My whole life I was the “skinny” one; or so I was told and praised for. Coming in at a measly size 0 and never having to worry about what I ate, or if I exercised. Society had convinced me into thinking that being skinny made for a better body; a healthier body; a sexier body; a more acceptable body. But at this time in my life, it was definitely not when I felt my most beautiful or comfortable in my own skin. The value on my body and the image I had of myself was at an all time low. Having come out of a traumatic childhood and many disrespectful romantic relationships in my teens and early 20’s, I needed to find my way back to loving myself; on the inside and the outside.

Fast forward to years later, I had started a journey of self love and healing of both my mind and body, and was so blessed to find a partner that respected and loved me for who I was. It was a transformative and beautiful time in my life. I was living for me and enjoying every bit of it.

Motherhood became the next part of my story, which was both amazing and incredibly difficult all at the same time. It changes you in a way both mentally and physically, that you can’t quit prepare for. It is the hardest, most beautiful, most rewarding thing you’ll ever do. But then asks even more of you to really work hard to find yourself again.

At this time, my body transformed into one that didn’t feel like it was my own. I didn’t recognize my physical self any more, and found it difficult to feel sexy or beautiful. I was searching again for the self love that I knew existed in me, and that I really deserved.

So when I recently connected with Amanda about doing a Boudoir photo experience; I thought maybe this was the sign I needed.

I had been wanting to do one for years’; always seeing other women’s shoots and hoping that my body would be “good enough” to book one. Expecting that if my body didn’t look “perfect”, that the after photos wouldn’t be sexy or beautiful. So I kept saying “one day”, because I didn’t feel it was the right time yet.

But why do we hold onto “yet”?

Why do we let this control us, and stop us from doing the things that make us feel good?

Why do we believe that this amazing body of ours isn’t good enough? When really, it is a miracle!

My body has carried me through the darkest years of my life. She brought me two beautiful sons, and saved me when I almost died in 2015.  She is amazing, and she is powerful, and she deserves so much more love and respect.

After taking the time to really explore why I was holding myself back; I spoke with Amanda about my nerves, my fears, my reservations… and she assured me that this was all normal, and it was time for me to jump two feet in and really see how beautiful I could feel. And she wasn’t wrong…

From the time I set foot in the studio (which was STUNNING!), I felt a calm and ease that immediately set the tone for the day.

Amanda took her time to talk through everything I wanted out of the shoot and the after photos. She made sure to make every single part feel comfortable and lighthearted.

She explained all aspects of the day and led me over to get glammed up. Wow, was she amazing and FAST! I was shocked at how quickly she was able to make me feel like an absolute queen, with such professional hair and makeup! She really is a magician!

Now it was time to start shooting.

*Ok…deep breaths….*

I slipped into something sexy and tried my best to believe I looked good in it, without letting intrusive thoughts get in.

Immediately I felt comfortable with Amanda’s direction. I was so grateful for her gentleness when it came to changing into new outfits, helping me pose in positions that she knew would look the best, and complimenting me throughout. She would get really excited when we got “the shot”, and seeing the sneak peaks was so validating! It only helped further make me feel confident to keep going.

I also can’t even express how much fun it was! The more I got into the shoot, the time flew by with lighthearted ease. We had so many laughs throughout the day and special moments of reflection. And *gasp*, to my surprise…I loved every minute!

I will forever be grateful to Amanda for convincing me to do this for myself. Her very thoughtful ways of getting me prepared mentally before the shoot; helping make me feel beautiful with hair and makeup; her kind words and gentle way of leading me into poses. If not for all of this, I truly don’t believe this day would’ve been as transformative. Because it was never just about the photos; it was so much more.

It was about feeling beautiful.

Finding love within myself again.

Taking risks.

Seeing my body for the amazing vessel she is.

Feeling confident.

Knowing that I am more than a mother.

Allowing myself to feel sexy again.

After the photoshoot, I was anxious to see how the photos turned out, but Amanda continued to assure me that they were “GORGEOUS AND AMAZING”! She never faltered once in making me feel like it was the most incredible shoot, and told me I would be really pleased. And again, she was right!

Once I received the album (which was so fast), I was blown away by how beautiful I felt in the photos. She was really able to capture through her lens such a whimsical, fun, yet sexy side of me; leaving me feeling really proud and thankful that I did the shoot.

Ready to unleash your inner goddess and have a blast doing it? Book a boudoir photography experience with me, Amanda Gibson of Gibson Boudoir, and get ready for an unforgettable adventure! Picture this: a day filled with laughter, confidence-boosting pampering, and posing like a fierce queen. We’ll play your favorite tunes, sip on some bubbly, and capture your most stunning, sexy, and empowering moments. It’s more than just a photo session; it’s a celebration of you, in all your fabulous glory. So, let’s make some magic together and create photos that will leave you feeling like the badass you truly are!